If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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