This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
