this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
