you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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