Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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