I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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