do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
