At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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