the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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