He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
