I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
