went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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