Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
