I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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