chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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