we're blogging at a bar
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
