That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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