i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize