Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Are we still banned from the library?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
