Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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