I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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