Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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