This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
