I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My butt remains clenched, sir.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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