when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
