he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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