I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
