Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
