i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
