U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize