it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
