i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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