Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
