It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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