I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just had sex on a roof
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
