well you can't waste a boner
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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