it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize