She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
if only i could text you this smell
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
