Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
