one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
