my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize