who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize