Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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