its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
