He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
