You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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