Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
