fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
