I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
