Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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