I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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