Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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