winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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