The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
someone owes me an orgasm
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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