He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
