Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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