ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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