Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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