; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
