You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
