i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
