He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
farters have to be the big spoon...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize