Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize