2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
