If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
