Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
