i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
