he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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