hotel room ftw
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
