i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
