I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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