She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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