i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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