Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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