No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
